Yeah, I didn't put this behind one of those LJ cut things because I don't know how to use them and after 4 0.5L 12% beers I don't feel like figuring it out. So, here's my story:
It is now the end of December as I sit in my reading chair sipping away at a beautifully cold Kozel beer as I look out at the dark Slovak sky, stars muffled by the encroaching clouds from Austria. I would either have to be soulless or callous to not reflect upon the absolute thrill ride that has been my 2008. In one year I have been married, divorced, graduated college, got a good paying career starting job, moved overseas, and completely started my life over. I know not many people will read this, but still, I feel I have to share my story with someone, anyone, so off we go into the oblique view of my life during this one year.
At the beginning of the year I was freshly engaged to the most beautiful girl I had ever met in my life, I was beginning the final semester of my undergraduate career and I had a job offer that people wait their whole lives for. Things weren’t just looking up, they were so up it was stellar. I got married on January 10th in a very small ceremony that was more for paperwork than anything else due to the fact that we needed to get Aleah’s papers in order for her Visa. For the first time in my life, I felt complete, whole, solid.
For some reason my entire life I have always had a noise in the back of my head that gives me hints about what will happen in the future, strange I know. This voice kept on telling me that I would have a disaster coming up soon, a disaster in which my life had never seen before.
Comforting.
February is when life started to get bad. Very bad. My new marriage was starting to slide downhill, Aleah started to get anxious about whether or not she had made the right decision. She had always been anxious about life in general anyway, so I attributed it to being a new bride and to her general anxiety. Apparently with this, along with many things, I was wrong. I am a very logical person and if something is a bad situation I usually give it 5-8 months to see if things can work out because no good ever came from making rash quick decisions. Well, not everyone shares my point of view, and in February no one wanted to share a house with me either. After that everything was moot. We saw a marriage counselor at the beginning of June after I graduated to no avail. She had already made her mind up.
From February until June I had only one real distinct memory. My graduation. The notable absence of my wife was calmed by the fact that my best friend Rob was there and when it was my time to walk across the stage he let out the loudest primal YEAH CAM!!!!!!! that ever did grace those halls. I can officially say that I got the loudest cheer at the graduation ceremony. Thanks Rob.
June was a blur, I was so frustrated with everything that had happened in my life that I burned the journal that Aleah had given me for Christmas for it contained the chronicle of happiness that was promptly extinguished by the same person that brought me that glee. As my memories floated above me in a cloud of purifying smoke I was determined to never let anyone get that close again, and almost a year later I have stayed true to that promise.
July 5th couldn’t come fast enough for me. I had my plane ticket (paid for by the company ) for a one way travel to Bratislava Slovakia. There is something about that one way ticket that mesmorised me, I kept looking at it time and time again. One way. No return. There really wasn’t any backing out of this one. Instead of going to a far away place with my smiling wife at my side, supporting each other as we struggle through tough times, I was going alone, no one within a 4 country radius that I knew (except for my boss). Alone.
When I first arrived in the Vienna airport, my boss and I were picked up by his wonderful wife Renata who drove us to Bratislava (only about 30 minutes away by car). My eyes were trying to take in the constant inflow of new sights, scenes, people. My ears were unaccustomed to the accent of her English so I only caught about every 2nd word or so. I was transfixed by the Austrian country side as it slowly bled into the Slovak surroundings. We reach the city and they show me where the business office was located, and after that they drove me to my hostel. I didn’t have a permanent place to live so the hostel would have to do until I managed to find a place to call my own. They dropped me off on the curbside, waved goodbye as my boss said “ See you at the office in the morning!” and immediately I was completely lost. I wandered for about 2 minutes until I realized that the door they dropped me off by was the hostel door. I’m an idiot, I must have passed by it 10 times before seeing the HOSTEL sign about 20 feet up on the building.
I ring the bell and a grey haired man named Juraj (pronounced yuray) answered the door and spoke to me in Slovak, French, German, and then finally English. He led me to my room which I would share with 4 other people and let me do my unpacking. Now, I only had 2 suitcases and a backpack to my name, so unpacking was quite quick. I quickly realized that I had no food. At all. And I was damn hungry. But, seemings as I had been traveling all day and I wasn’t accustomed to the time change so that night I went to bed hungry. The next day I never made it to the office, I didn’t know which direction it was in, didn’t know the address, and I certainly didn’t know the public bus system. I ended up spending the entire day in search of food, like a wild animal I scoured the streets in the all encompassing hope of discovery. I only had Euro and that wasn’t acceptable here so it was about 4 hours until I found an ATM that accepted my cards, and now I had to find a store. Can I just say how hard it is to find a store when you don’t know what they look like, what the word for store is, or how they even operate? After about another 3 hours of wandering around like a moron I find the Tesco in downtown! Lord be praised it was the Mecca of food-stuffs. The only thing I hoped for was that I wouldn’t make a fool of myself like that banana incident in Italy. . .that sucked. Anyway, food was found, life was good.
I spent a total of 4 weeks in that hostel, and during those 4 weeks I went to a Slovak family renunion in the mountains (that’s a whole story in itself). That’s the place I was introduced to Slivovica and the notion of a 3 day bender. I didn’t sleep or rest for 3 days straight, of course during those 3 days I was so drunk that I literally couldn’t see, walk, speak, or pee straight. It was hilarious! By the second day everyone there was speaking fluent English (none of them spoke English) and I was speaking fluent Slovak (which I spoke none). It was a good 3 days.
Finally, after searching for a place to live, an apartment that is literally 10 yards away from my office becomes available. It is on the top floor of a very communist looking living block with degrading walls, crappy windows, gnarly blue carpet, an Ikea inspired bedroom set and it was all shoved into a place that was about 90 square feet. Excellent.
I move in and in about 20 minutes all of my worldly possessions are put away. For the first time in a month that I had been here I could sit down and actually think about what was going on. Boy was that was a mistake. As I sat and my mind started to settle down and process what I was actually doing, I came to the realization that I have either done something completely stupid or insane. Who in the hell moves to an obscure eastern European country to work in an office that wasn’t even set up yet , wasn’t even legitimate, and to move to a wonderful flat that is the size of a bathroom whilst not knowing a word of the local language? Like I said.
Stupid or insane.
The place where I live is actually a housing complex for foreign researchers completing their degrees or working in the area, so here is a list of the nationalities that live on this floor: American, German, Finnish, Spanish, Polish(2), Serbian, Japanese, African, Macedonian, and Ukrainian. Quite an odd mix if you ask me. It’s funny if you think about the wars that have gone on in Europe, no one really should get along with anyone in this complex, in theory we should hate eachother, but funny enough everyone loves everyone else! I don’t know what I did to deserve being put in this apartment with these people, but it must have been something good! The crushing loneliness that I had to battle when I first got here was quenched as I found friends to travel with and hang out with.
Since I moved here I have traveled to Middle Slovakia, Austria and the Czech Republic. I have plans in 2009 for Serbia, Egypt, Ukraine (Crimean peninsula) and perhaps Estonia if I feel the wanderlust really kick in. in the 6 months I have resided here I have cried more tears than ever before and I have smiled until it hurts. For now, I feel that a life of extremes is better than a level life, mediocrity. At least this way it is possible to feel again.
I am hopeful for 2009, 2008 really gave me the shaft so it has to come around somehow right? I have pretty much vowed off of girls for the time being unless someone spectacular comes around. Every time I see a girl on the bus or in town and I want to talk to her I am instantly reminded about how close love and hate are to each other, and for the time being I don’t want that trouble.
My time in Slovakia has been quite revealing. As much as you want to run away from your problems, well , for some problems you can, but when you want to run away from yourself, well, you’ll have to go a lot further than Slovakia to achieve that. I started out as an outgoing guy going to every party that crossed my ears, but now I am back to my life of sitting in my room reading, writing, listening to music, and reflecting upon everything. I’m not a party guy, no matter how much I try, and I’m not a European, no matter how much I had tried to set myself that way.
I took a picture of myself when I left Salt Lake, and when I looked at it again just a few days ago I realized that I have aged greatly since I have been here. I’ve gained about 15 kilo (about 30 pounds for those not accustomed to the right way of measuring), I’ve grown my hair out and speaking of hair I have a lot more of them turning to the grey side now. The stress of this adventure has taken its toll on both my body and my mind, but as I look towards 2009 I realize that this side of the world is my oyster, and all I need to do is take this situation, as strange as it may be, by the horns and just wrestle it until it bends to my will.
With tired, fatigued eyes I look forward to the new year, hopeful that it will bring me fortune and happiness, but at the same time I am equipped and ready for another year of crushing blows should that happen.
Here’s to flying into the abyss with open eyes and hearts.
Na Zdravie
Current Music: Magyar Posse_Random Avenger
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